Day 5:

i'm still missing you so badly...

when i'm alone, i kept thinking about you, my mum & dad.

tears just kept flowing when i think of you too much...

Was suppose to go to uncle calvin's house, i actually went pass his block & walk towards your block. i'm so used to going cell grp with you. i would always head towards your house first b4 going to cell group. Don't know when i can do it again.

Really hope i can get the hang of this.

i'm trying baby, i really am.

you must be strong & endure your time in army too.

i love you baby..

imy <3

Day 4

Hai baby, it's only Day 4. & i'm suffering like mad.

Mum got hospitalized this morning. I really just can't believe it that the people whom I loved the most on Earth is not around with me at all (for now). I miss my mum, i miss my dad, i miss you especially . I'm all alone now at home. I hate being alone. It's so scary, lonely & hurting.

I am so selfish. I just want the people i loved to be with me always. I just can't understand situations like this. I'm just dumb & naive.

Was missing you much. I took out the A|X shirt that has your smell on it from the plastic bag. The moment I took a deep breath, tears just keep flowing down my cheeks. I kept crying, I really really miss you so badly. I don't get to smell your smell which i used to everyday already. Your hugs that makes me feel secure, your kiss that always melt me, your laughter that makes me smile, your act-cuteness which makes me laugh & happy, your shoulder that i always lean on, your hands that i always hold, your words that's ever loving, your understanding, your patience, your fierce look, JUST EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU I MISSES. Words can't describe how much I need you. It make me realized that I can't live without you. If i were to collect the tears i've cried for the past few days, it can fill up a kiddy swimming pool already. I know you're crying too. But.... what can we do?

I thought that i can handle the situation well. But i proved myself real wrong.

I should have really really treasure you every single moment. I regretted saying those hurtful words to you before. Every cold war we had was just a waste of time. I promised baby, when you booked out, I'll cherish every single moment with you. I'll be the best girlfriend to you. I'll learn to be more understanding, patient, nice, gentle & more loving towards you.

You taught me many things, you've changed me.

I really thank God that he sent you into my life. Waiting for you is really worthwhile.... & i'll never regret it.

Thanks for worrying me even though you're in army. It's suppose to be the other way round though. But after every single day baby, i'll be stronger. Soon, it'll be my turn to be your strength & someone to reply on yea.

I love you baby.

Can't wait to see you on tues.

Really can't wait.

4 more days that we both gotta endure.

We can do it.

Goodnight. imy & irly.

Army Day 1

I'm back to this sad lil blog agn, got no one to talk to agn...

Hope you'll read it whenever you're free ^^

Sigh.... it's only day 1 & i cant take it anymore..

when you hug & kiss me for the last time, i suddenly felt the sense of loneliness.

but i was so happy when you texted me & called me on the phone just now..

it hit me that i should cherish every single moment & time with you..

without you around with me, things really arent the same. i really feel so lonely now..

i somehow regretted saying those awful & hurtful words to you before.

i've come to my senses alrd. it's really really hard to be parted with you...

but i have to look at the brighter side so i could stop crying..

Thinking that you'll be a real man when you're out, & i also could spend more time on my studies.. but seems like your presence is more impt to me than anything else..

ASDFGHKJGHGFFSLFLS!!!

i could keep on typing & crying & blowing my mucus. but i think i should really stop.

i think you need more encouragement than my rants. hehe

stay strong ok! i know you miss me like crazy too. but you must endure & persevere ok!

i'll be right here & there waiting for you, cheering for you.

even though i cant be there physically, i'll always be there mentally.

keep praying whenever you feel weak too. God will be there for you too. :)

& always keep that in mind that my love for you will never fade, but it'll grow more & more each day... no one can ever compare to you. my heart, is fully belong to you only.. i really miss you baby, i really really love you too.. words really cant expressed how i feel now.. but you got to know that you know that you know that nothing can ever separate us & stop us from loving each other.

Take care inside ok! jia you & be an officer. if you be officer, i promised to loose weight (in size though) & do well in my studies! & ohhhohohh ! i'll be waiting by the phone everyday for your call yea! =)

XOXO,

ME, YOUR DARLING, HONEY,DEAR, BAOBAO, BABY,BABE, (INSERT CHEESY NAME HERE)

^^

p/s: did i say tt i miss your smell? :(

Re: Previous Post

I guess I just can't let you go, even for awhile.

Talk through a bit yesterday night. Things got better.

But it's not the same anymore I think...

The feeling is not the same as last time anymore.

It's true that once a paper is being crushed & crumpled, it can never be straight & perfect anymore.

I know I'm still treating you cold. I need more time. My heart needs more time to heal.

Hi, it's been a long time posting here. Guess that I had the most wonderful time with you ever since.. But I guess I can't take it anymore. We really fight over small things uh.. We are still young, childish and petty I guess. Even though I was hoping that you would still hold on to me very tight when I was about to let go. But seems like I've expected too much, you let me go. I was lost for that moment, didn't know what to do. I prayed to God with tears that kept flowing down my cheeks. It was so pain, but I know I want to take a break. Am I too reckless? Is this the right choice? I don't know. Maybe this one week of break, I'll really reflect and pray to God about it. I really didn't want to let go though, but because you were not holding me tight enough that is why I decided to take a break, in hope that you'll hold me tighter next time. Yea, next time... I hope there will be a next time. I'm so tired of doing and saying the wrong things all the time. I'm a girl you know. Sometimes I wonder, are you really the one God chose for me? I'll pray over it and I hope to get the answer within a week.

The thing is can I even not to talk to you and see you for a week?

I don't think I can do it but I need to do it. It's one of the best way I could think right now.

You're going NS soon, and I really really really hope this 1 week will not be a waste.

I'm soo tired. Need to stop here now.

Adults don't really care to hear what the youngsters wanna say uh.

Going to watch the NDP tgt w/ you! hehe excited.

Anw. what happened today shows me what you've been through all these times.

it's really hard on you baby. Persecutions are always attacking us, but we must stay strong tgt. God will guide us thru yea. Hope that your dad will open up one day. :)

Btw, you're sleeping on the soffa right now & i'm beside you! haha! Just painted my nails & I dnknw what to do now. Looking @ you sleeping makes me happy. hahaha! :) I love your smell a lot. ^^

Goodnight!

today is D-day :)

i love you baby.

Our first time together making love